Then it happened. After 9 years as an only child, Devyn became a big brother. He's never really told us how he feels about this. I'm sure he was worried. He thinks about things. I mean really thinks. He goes there. He likes to think of all the outcomes and really investigate what can happen, or what the possibilities could be. But he never expressed any opinions. When asked about becoming a big brother, Devyn smiled and said "It's cool". So, when our little Brayden James was born, Devyn became a big brother. It was a very special day. We became a family of four. God answered our prayers and gave us a healthy boy. He was a fussy little thing, but so cute that we didn't mind.
Then it happened again. Fourteen months later. 14. Months. Later. Jackson Oliver was born. I was terrified. I was just getting used to having two kids. I didn't know how I was going to handle a toddler and a newborn at the same time. Was I ever going to sleep again? The emotions were overwhelming. To be honest, much of that time is a blur. I remember moments, good and bad, but not every detail of those early days. Poor Devyn. He had such a peaceful existence before the brothers came along.
We were now a family of five. One mommy, one daddy, and three little boys. Big brother, little brother and baby brother. God is so good. He gives us incredible gifts that we never even knew we could ask for.
Ephesians 3:20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us
And here we are, Devyn is 14 years old, Brady is 5 years old, and Jax is 4 years old. We are blessed, but we are busy. There is never a dull moment. We are hardly ever quiet. Someone is always picking on someone and someone is always being pushed, pulled, kicked or tackled. I love it. I will take a rowdy house of boys over a calm, neat and orderly house any day. I fit in with these crazy boys and I am thankful to be their mama. They make me special.
I always wonder about the plans God has for us. How do we prepare for those plans? How long are we supposed to wait for God to put those plans into action? Are we supposed to sit back patiently and wait for them to happen? Or are we supposed to be proactive, full steam ahead confident in what the Lord wants for us? And how do we know what God intends for our lives? How do we know that "this" is it?
I'm still working on the answers to so many of these questions. I do know that we are never fully prepared for life. Even if it is the life God intends for us. We never have all of the answers. We have to learn to lean on him. We have to be bold and confident that his plan is better than we can ever imagine. I have learned that knowing what God's plan actually is, is really not that important. I've decided to give him my all. Whatever he wants for my life is his.
Once this decision was made, everything else just fell into place. So many of the little struggles just disappeared. So many of those times that I didn't know what was the right choice are gone. I don't find myself in those situations any longer. Because if it's not going to glorify his name, then I don't want it in my life. My choices and the things I want out of life have changed. This doesn't mean that life isn't hard. Life is still hard. Struggles still happen. This doesn't mean that I don't make mistakes. I mess up all the time! It does mean that when life gets hard, I have him to depend on. It doesn't matter if I can't handle it. It doesn't matter if it's too hard. Nothing is too hard for a God that loves me and has great plans for me. There is nothing that he can't handle, and I am so thankful to give it all to him.
Matthew 6:33-34 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
I leave you with a picture of my beautiful family. I am so thankful that God had a better plan for my life.
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